Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize