She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
