He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
