I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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