I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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