Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
