Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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