I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
