I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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