what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
