It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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