if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
