sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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