Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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