There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
