I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sobbing to NWA
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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