dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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