Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
