I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
