That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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