The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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