theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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