i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
