She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize