Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize