Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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