I hope mine doesn't look like that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
