Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
