Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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