"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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