anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize