Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
