No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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