guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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