is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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