Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
