Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
