She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
