Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
