Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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