Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
