It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
