Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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