she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
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