HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
