Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
