i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
