Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
