if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
