This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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