Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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