What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
