the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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