this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
