So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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