Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
