she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
