Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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