a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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