the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
