She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
