I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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