PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize