yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
