I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
