is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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