I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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