In the future we'll all be gay
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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