I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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