a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
